Sixth Issue - 7 Complex Issues That Single Dads Still Sometimes Struggle With Even In Today's World.

7 Complex Issues That Single Dads Still Sometimes Struggle With Even In Today's World.

Sixth Issue: You Might Have to Learn Some Skills on The Fly

A few years ago, a video that was shot in a pediatrician’s office went viral. A little boy was receiving a shot and was crying. Out of the frame, his father could be heard encouraging the boy to stop crying, and instead shout out loud, ‘I’m a man.’ That video was mostly praised because people believed that the father was teaching his son needed skills.

● Don’t cry.

● Control your emotions.

● Perception of your masculinity matters more than your feelings.

On the other hand, a photo with a teen-aged boy resting his head on his father’s shoulder went viral for another reason. The outcry was loud and clear. The show of physical affection was weird and creepy. It was ‘gay.’ Dad’s shouldn’t be affectionate to their sons. Only moms should do that.

What’s the point? When men become single parents, they have to make themselves learn emotional skills that they may not have been taught. Worse, they may have to force themselves to emotionally engage with their children in ways that they were told were harmful.

Meeting your child’s emotional needs by breaking deeply ingrained habits can be challenging, to say the least.

Finally, don’t assume that every single father who struggles with this was raised in a super traditional home, or unduly influenced by chauvinistic ideology. Even when men are raised in super-progressive homes, they can still be hit with a lot of subtle programming about what their roles should be. Meeting your child’s emotional needs by breaking deeply ingrained habits can be challenging, to say the least.

Next Post: Seventh Issue: Sometimes You Feel Lost When Your Kids Aren’t With You